as long as your heart's still beating

lzbth:

you call them selfies i call them daily proof that i am not a middle aged male internet predator

creeeee:

imawanchor:

remember when the first time the audience saw bella swan she was just randomly clutching a cactus

remember vampires suck?

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

bluekulele:

 

fuckin-man-suit:

by Megan Lara and Omega Man 5000

rocketfists:

If you listen carefully you can hear the sound of me falling in love with Carey Mulligan.

thiswholeplaceisbadtouchingme:

vaginafulloflegos:

herondalely:

we-hunt-monsters-not-dinkelberg:

Today in school I was walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and some dude walked out of a classroom and tripped me by accident and I was thinking about Thor 2 so i just like blurted out “HOW DARE YOU ATTACK THE SON OF ODIN” and he just looked at me and looked down at his shirt and it was an Avenegrs shirt and I think i made a friend guys.

I SHIP IT

jadecake:

paledreamers:

danosaur-and-phillion:

activatewindows:

letshope:

Sickest Candle ever.

It’s like the olympic closing ceremony…

funny story about these, i had a red one on my birthday and everyone was like “wow this is the coolest fucking thing ever” and it plays music and all that, but when it came to actually eating the cake and taking the candle out, there was no off switch, so we had to smash it to pieces in the back garden to shut it up. turns out if you smash it up the music box still works. when i was in bed at 3am i could hear something so i opened the window, and it sounded like a tune you would hear in a horror movie before someone gets their body ripped to shreds and eaten. sleep well munchkins. you dont want this fucking thing.

^^^^^^^^MY MOTHER BOUGHT THIS FOR ME WHEN I TURNED 14 IT DIDNT STOP PLAYING WE DROWNED IT FOR 5 HOURS AND IT STARTED PLAYING THE SECOND YOU TOOK IT OUT OF THE WATER MY BROTHER SMASHED IT AGAINST THE  WALL 5 TIMES IT DIDNT STOP MY MOTHER THREW IT OUT 3 BLOCKS AWAY 

i love how every single time i see this there’s a new horror story about this candle